December 28, 2018 The night of their sixth wedding anniversary came. That night was exactly one year ago.Rosie went missing, exactly a year after Reiner had been separated from her.Reiner placed a picture of Rosie across the dining table. He and the photographer faced each other."Happy anniversary, my dear, sweetheart. I hope, wherever you are, you are healthy and happy. Its been a year since weve been apart, but Im sure well see each other soon. I miss you. I want to hear your voice tonight.
The atmosphere that night turned sad. Reiner couldn lie to himself. Rosie was not by his side. and he was in a heavy state of longing. He picked up the photo from across the table and held it close.
"Come back to me, my love." Reiner said.
He went into the room and touched Rosies things. So sure was he that Rosie would come back, he never moved any of Rosies things. He opened the wardrobe. He touched the dresses Rosie used to wear. His eyes found a sweatshirt that Rosie had knitted for him. In the third year of their marriage, Rosie handed the finished sweatshirt to Reiner years ago.
"I knitted this sweatshirt for you because I often see you cold." Rosie said.
"Do you think I want to wear such hick clothes?" said Reiner as he tossed the sweatshirt to Rosies face.
"Im sorry, dear," said Reiner as he remembered how badly he had treated Rosie back then.
That night was so blue with emotion. Reiner was struck by a strange nostalgia. Various looks on Rosies face were present in his mind. He leaned against the wall, embracing Rosies picture, savoring the love and longing solemnly.That night, Reiner looked back; he deliberately smeared his heart with memories until his mind was filled only with the face of his beloved wife. Reiner picked up pieces of the past. The promises he never kept, Rosies tears and smiles.
Reiner took out a book and a will from the drawer. Rosie wrote the will for Reiner when he was newly diagnosed with dementia. The doctor had explained to Rosie about the brain disease called dementia, and Rosie knew that she would lose her memory slowly. And after that, she had a premonition that she was going to die soon. So she decided to write a will, even though the signs of death were not yet visible. She wanted to write the will while her memory was still intact, so that she could express everything she felt to Reiner.
The will :
Reiner, the man I love most. My dearest husband. The love of my live. The only family I have. Forgive me, my husband. Im writing this while my memory is still good. I don know when my memory will fade, so I decided to write this now. Even so, my gut feeling tells me that my death is very close. I feel that I will soon be reunited with my children, as well as my mother and father. Everything is fine. I accept it, Reiner. After all, why else would I still live in this world? Ive lost you, my children, and my uterus, and now Im going to lose my memories.
Honey, first I want to apologize to you. Im sorry that I couldn make you happy and instead became a burden in your life. You
e a very kind man, willing to pick up a foolish, orphaned, and absent-minded girl like me. You made me a wife; you gave me shelter, clothes, and food. Im sorry I can repay your kindness. Im sorry that Ive burdened your life.
Reiner, I have forgiven and accepted all the bad things that happened during our marriage. I have forgotten about it and made peace with it. I just think of it as a bad fate that the universe has outlined for me. I used to be angry with you because you beat me so much, but now I realize that it was all because of my own foolishness. Believe me, until now I still love you very much. I have forgiven you, and I love you. I have accepted the death of my children. I have accepted everything. I don hold any resentments or grudges. I don have any. I love you. I really love you.
Reiner, Ill keep all the precious things I have in this blue chest. Ill leave it unlocked so you can easily open it. Ill also keep my will there. The things in this blue chest will all be given to you. Theres our wedding ring; Im giving it to you. Theres also a new suit to replace the one I broke. Theres also the sweatshirt I knitted for you and other little things I have, including my favorite light blue scarf, which is my most precious treasure. I gave it all to you...
Actually, I want something. I want to see you one last time before I die. However, if that doesn happen, then its fine. Reiner, if someday you remember this house of ours and remember me, then you come back home and find my corpse that may have become bones, could you bury me next to my children? I don want to be away from them anymore.
Reiner, in these days, I want to write in the notebook that we used to call
"99 Years With Rosiel."
Do you remember this book? Back then, we wanted to use it as a place to fill in vacation photos or photos of our daily lives, which we planned to pass on to our children and grandchildren in the future. Ah, Reiner. We don have a single photo except our wedding photo. Therefore, I will write about myself, how I met you, and how I love you in this book. Ill write on just one page each, so that if one day you remember me and miss me, you can write on the page I left blank. so that you can complete our love story. I don mean anything by it, Reiner. I just want to always remember the good days when we were together. I want these memories with you to be my last. I want to die in peace, remembering that I was once loved, once the "dream lover" of a handsome man with blue eyes and blond hair. Maybe this is my way of escaping the guilt of our failed marriage. Im sorry. You can burn or throw this book away after I die.
Lastly, I bid you farewell. Goodbye, Reiner. Goodbye, the man I love most on this earth. I love you. I wish you good days and happiness.
Reiner loved reading the will because it contained Rosies sincere confession of love for him. He always read it over and over again. Whenever he missed Rosie, he read it.
Reiner put down the wil, and his attention now turned to the red-bound notebook.
Long before he met Rosie, Reiner had always wanted to have a beautiful love story. He yearned for a lover who loved him wholeheartedly. He always loved romance movies and love stories in novels. He also believed that all humans have their own soulmates. He wanted to meet his soulmate and spend the rest of his life lovingly with her. In fact, he wanted to be buried in the same grave as his soulmate. Reiner bought an empty journal book with a vintage design, thick brown paper, and a red cover. He planned to fill the journal with memorable photos of his future soulmate.
He would fill the book with the journey of their love story. Starting from the time they got married, had their first child, and grew old. As time went by, Reiner found his soulmate, dream lover, and true love, and that was Rosie. So, he put Rosies photo on the cover of the journal and wrote the title "99 Years With Rosie." on the front page.
Now, Rosie was separated from him, but the book was still filled with memories of their love journey, as Reiner had always wanted. Its not vacation photos, but writing. Rosie had written it. Reiner sat at his reading table and looked at Rosies face on the cover of the book. Reiner then gave the journal a new title, which was "Last Hours With Rosie." He pasted it over the old title.
December 28, 2018, 8:41 p.m.
Reiner began to write:
My name is Reiner Kristiansen. I used to be a very sad man. I was always alone and lonely. I didn even have any friends to talk to and tell my feelings to. In the end, I really dreamed of having a lover who would accompany me through my days. I always believed that the greatest happiness in life was to find true love and grow old with her. Actually, I had fallen in love with a woman. However, she was in a painting that my mother brought from her hometown. For years, I loved the girl in the painting. I thought she wasn real. Until one day, at the age of 30, I found the girl in the painting. Roxelana was her name. She was very beautiful, like an angel who fell from heaven. She was sweet, kind, and innocent. She was ten years younger than me.
We got married on December 28, 2012, at 10:03 p.m. Many things happened, and I didn keep my promise to take care of Rosie (my favorite nickname for her). I treated her badly and inhumanely. I hurt her heart, body, and soul. Eventually, the universe separated us.
This book is part of my dream, which I was going to fill with photos of my memories with her that we would pass on to our descendants. However, those pictures never came to be because our memories were limited to memory. Rosie has written our story in this book, and I will fill in the missing pieces or provide explanations. I know one day the universe will bring me back together with Rosie. Maybe that day will be tomorrow, but tonight, I will relive everything about Roxelana.